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Pregnant, Scared and Broke

Writer's picture: TamTam

Updated: Mar 13, 2020

We were struggling financially and maritally. Until we finally chose God's ways, instead of our own.

I was several months pregnant and crying on the OB/GYN table. I hadn’t seen a doctor in a few months because I didn’t have insurance and we were broke. We saved for months to get just enough to see the doctor. I had $1000 cash in a plastic baggie, and that was all we had to our name.


I wasn’t feeling faithful; I was feeling hopeless. I had prayed that Maykell’s job would give him a raise, that he would book more weddings or even get a different job. Nothing was changing. I was angry at Maykell, the company for which he was working, and even God. I felt stuck and broken.


As I sat on the table waiting for the OB, I prayed in a way I had never prayed before. With my hands empty and postured for surrender, this was my prayer, “Lord, I have nothing to give you except my faith. I know you have the resources to provide for us. I haven’t given you the faith that I should have. I will give you my faith. Please, I need you to provide like you say you will.”


When I finally stopped praying for God to meet my needs the way I wanted him to and submitted to His will, He took control and provided in ways I never expected. That day, everything about my life and my faith changed.


I was transferred to a place called the Rainbow Clinic where they took care of all my medical needs and made sure I was having a healthy pregnancy. I was connected with WIC where I received food for my unborn babe, my 4 year old son and myself. They helped me get insurance. They connected me with the New Path Pregnancy Care Center and some of the best women I have ever met. They blessed me and helped me emotionally and spiritually by pouring into my and my family. They loved us like we were their own.


Twice people from Church helped us make rent when we were short. One of the times, the couple who sent us money didn’t even know we were in need. They just sent us the exact amount we needed in order to pay the full rent amount. Several people brought food and gifts for our boys for Christmas.


 

When I finally stopped praying for God to meet my needs the way I wanted him to and submitted to His will, He took control and provided in ways I never expected. That day, everything about my life and my faith changed.

 

God didn’t show up in the way I expected. He didn't give my husband a new job or more money. His thoughts and plans are greater than ours. I believe if I had not turned things over to God for him to handle, I would have been much more stressed, we may not have made it financially and it wouldn’t have prepared me for a much harder trial that had not yet happened. God is always working on building our faith.


I want to encourage you today to TRUST God even if you never have before. If you’ve never prayed to Him, now is the best time. If you have trusted Him, but things didn’t turn out how you wished they would have, pray that God would open your eyes to what He is doing. He’s a good God, and He loves you. He is faithful so put your trust in Him today.


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